Six months on

As we hit the new month of October we as a family will mark 6mths of living with stage3 Bowel Cancer. It also happens to be the month of my eldest daughter Kirsty and my own birthdays 🎂 

Up 1st will be Kirstys on the 13th then my own on the 25th I will turn 53 years old & no prizes for guessing what I'd like for my birthday! 

It's been a difficult time since chemotherapy was halted, I have been sick on almost a weekly basis, not being able to hold food down. Medication is helping to correct this. September was in part a good month we managed a trip to Turkey 🇹🇷 just Deb & I it was so good to get time together and to relax. 

Since coming home it's given me time to think about what the surgeon and stoma nurse said about the operation itself and the procedures they want to do. I have been looking at double stomas and how people cope, I've looked indepth into the quality of life with them, how people manage, how they fit the stoma around their new life, the huge scars that accompany this huge operation they want me to undergo. Many of you will know that I've been struggling with this issue for sometime therfore I have come to the conclusion I need more information I need to know if there is an alternative to having 2 stomas, if there is no alternative what are my options? If the alternative to not having these stomas is putting a time on my life then at least I'll have the options open to me to discuss with my wonderful ever supporting family. 

I really can not see myself with two stomas one would be horrific for me 2 is unthinkable, I know some will say & they have, at least 2 stomas gives you a life! I disagree it certainly gives me existence but this is not necessarily living, I need to still have a quality of life I feel this wouldn't give me that, I would become a burden on my wife and my children something I'm not prepared to endure on them. I know they won't see it as a burden but I would.

So where am I now?

Well I have taken myself to get counselling and this helps clear my head on a weekly basis but not my mind. Once I'm in receipt of all the facts all the options together with my family we will make the right decision for me whatever that will be I just can't call it. I started this blog being brutally honest and I'm not going to alter course now. I know I have to change my life I am definitely prepared to do this but I can't at any cost. Many of you may not accept or understand what I'm saying that's OK all I ask is you respect it. I'm not saying I won't have stomas nor an operation I know I need the operation. 



Last week Deb and I managed a trip to London to see my nephew Greg run the iconic London Marathon he didn't know we was coming it was lovely to see him run the race we both completed last year 


Greg & me 2021 London Marathon 

 Today Oct 4th I'm back in hospital for a PET scan this will show if the cancer has spread and if its in my bones. From this final scan the treatment package will evolve. Its a very important day for me. After this I await the stoma nurse or surgeon to call me and to answer all of the questions I have proposed. I will updatethe blog soon as i possible can . 

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