Time Has Come

Case packed but there's no flight

Since being diagnosed with Stage 3 Bowel Cancer on April 13 this year my family & I have really been through a mixture of emotions. There's certainly been plenty of lows and there has been a few highs. Once the initial shock of hearing i have cancer had settled in I wanted to share my journey in hope it will show what one person goes through and get the message out about the symptoms of this deadly disease. I wanted to show Bowel Cancer is not restricted to older persons as some in the medical world still believe. 

I am the youngest of 7 siblings, I was a marathon runner, relatively fit and was in good shape, I managed a cash and carry centre worked really hard, so why did I get Cancer? Why did it choose me? questions I have asked myself many many times, its only when going through this process you realise Cancer does not discriminate. Its aggressive in its attack on your body and therefore the treatment has to be just as aggressive if not more to beat it. I can assure you the treatment really did get aggressive at times as such on two occasions the chemotherapy treatment itself nearly killed me.

Being on a hospital bed hearing everything around you and the sudden realisation I was on a defibrillator machine I could actually hear the machine saying out loud "analysing patient stand clear" this frightened me so much. The after effects of radiotherapy treatment were so painful I cried several times. 

To see the ones I love so very much go through this with me has also been really challenging and very emotional. My wife & children getting visibly upset as my condition took hold is something I never wish to see repeated. You see although I have Cancer its my loved ones who also carry the weight of the cancer while trying to keep things normal. At first I couldn't get my head around having to have a Stoma it was only through going to counselling at Maggie's I was able to finally get my head around it. This place along with the surgical team will most definitely have saved my life. 

Maggie's Cardiff is a registered Charity 

Tomorrow I go into hospital for my long awaited Bowel surgery, this will see the removal of my entire Bowel and having a permanent colostomy stoma being put in place. After months of uncertainty and several counselling sessions I am ready, I'm frightened, petrified to be honest & very apprehensive about the future but I'm determined to grasp the opportunity of a new life this operation is going to give me. With my beautiful family by my side the recovery may take time but I  know I will recover from this. The next few weeks and months are going to be difficult but i look back at just how far I have come since diagnosis. 

Last Friday afternoon I met up with my friend & former Cllr Fenella Bowden for a coffee & a chat it was great to be able to catch up before I go into hospital. Her help, advice and support these past 9 months have been truly invaluable and very much appreciated. 

Myself and Fenella 

Everyone knows I love running and it's been incredibly difficult for me not being able to run. On Saturday 26th November just 3 days before I'm admitted to hospital I took part in my final run of this year by running Llanishen Park parkrun with many of my running buddies helping me round the route. It was incredibly emotional running with our group and Mal from Cardiff Park Run also joined us. I never stopped running and came across the line in 42mins. As I turned into the final straight I was met with a roar so loud it blew me back a bit, I was being given a gaurd of honour 🎖 I will never forget this. Roath Park Runners really saw me off to surgery in style. Thank you to you all for coming I felt so humble. I have had some amazing messages of support from two very close running friends Julie & Kerrie thank you both for all your support during this difficult time. 

I was given The Gaurd of Honour at Llanishen Park parkrun 

My fellow Roath park runners sending me off in style. 

I have just the amazing support to my Friends a massive thank you for all the cards, puzzle books, wonderful thoughtful gifts and well wishes over these past 9 months it really is appreciated. Friends have been to visit me in recent weeks which has been great, one of my friends David is doing the Bobby Moore Keepy Uppy challenge and raising funds for Bowel Cancer UK he came to see me before he flew to Qatar to report on this years World Cup. I wish him well on completing his challenge thank you David and thank you for supporting Bowel Cancer UK. 

My Employer has been just amazing since my diagnosis keeping in touch on a regular basis supporting me and my family I really could not have worked for a more  empathetic company. I cant wait to get back to work and start to re-pay some of the faith they have shown in me. 

Dame Deborah James who sadly passed away on 28th June this year taught me a very valuable lesson in that if our bodies are telling us things are not what they should be we really should listen to it. Just because you see blood in your poo dont think its nothing it is You SHOULD NOT see blood in your poo. I do wish I'd have gone to the Drs earlier and not allow distractions from work or life itself get in the way.  Please dont make my mistake seek medical advice straight away. As Dame Deborah would have said to me I'll now say to you Check Your Poo 💩 it could just save your life! 

My last evening out was Saturday evening where I went to watch the Rugby 🏉 with a few friends including Jason and Graham it was just what I needed thank you guys looking forward to getting back to the lodge soon. 🤝

Jason (left) Graham (Centre) Myself (right) 3 of F&J Lodge 🤝🤝🤝

I am a massive England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 supporter (incase no-one knew) I can not believe my surgery is the same day as England v Wales in the last group game of the World Cup but sometimes things are more important than football, I won't know the result for a couple of days after. I hope its a good game and the best team Wins! 

I know I have a great team of surgeons and nurses who will be doing everything they can to rid me of this horrible Cancer. I have 100% faith in their abilities. The operation that will see the removal of my bowel and leaving me with a stoma for life is just hours away and I'm frightened petrified apprehensive but I am ready for it. 

Rest assured after this operation and once I'm feeling better I am going to continue campaigning for better awareness and knowledge of Bowel Cancer. I  wouldn't want anyone to go through what we've gone through these past 9 months so if I can help I will. I am pleased to see that some businesses have come on board and put the symptoms poster in their public toilets. I'm passionate about getting all public toilets to have this poster as I know it can save lives.

 

Please familiarise yourself and your families of the symptoms of Bowel Cancer it could just save your life!

This will be my last blog before surgery the next blog will be with my Stoma I will reveal its name once its in place. 

Thank you everyone I'll be back soon. 

Paul xx

Please Share my blogs it may help someone 

#check your poo

#kickingcancersbuttbecauseitsgotaholdofmine. 

Parkrun photos credits with thanks

Paul Stillman & Jonathan Evans